Dear Navita,

Here is my problem. I am married to the most beautiful and sweetest girl in the world! I adore the ground she walks on. While we have only been married a short while (one year), I know in my heart-of-heart's that this is the lady I want to grow old with. But there is a problem that is becoming bigger every day. That is that she is a ‘daddy’s girl’! At first, Navita, I thought it was cute and that it would work itself out. She would cling to me as her husband. But that is not what is going on. For example: when my wife's car broke down a few days ago on the interstate, instead of calling me to come help her she called her father. I asked her about it when she got home.

All she said was that she knew she could count on her daddy coming to help her. Man, what a blow to my ego and pride. I could not believe what I was hearing from my dear wife. I thought I was suppose to protect and help her now. But when things go wrong, she calls for Daddy. I am getting real tired of this and have told her so, but she just laughs and accuses me of being jealous. Maybe I am a little, but isn't this carrying fatherhood a little too far? Should I voice my concerns to her dad in hopes he will stop? Or should I just suffer until I cannot stand it anymore and leave? Help me please and not her father,

Not Her Father

Dear Not HerFather,

A bond between parents and there children is a very special and unique one. You will understand better one day when you have children of your own.

Now onto your problem. I do see it as a problem that will not be an easy one to solve. Your wife, while she loves you, depends on her father like she did when she was his little girl at home. Unfortunately, sometimes the father helps keep this bond going much longer than it needs to. The way it is suppose to go is at the alter, the father passes his most prized possession, his daughter, to her husband (his son-in-law) with the blessing that this man will care and love his daughter as he did. Then he would move into a different role in his daughter's life. But in your case, it seems like father is not willing to make that transition. You both could talk about going to see a counselor.

It may be something more below the surface is causing this to happen. I would not confront the father, because he may see it as a challenge and try to pull his daughter away. I would gently keep reminding your wife that since she became married, you now are the one she needs to trust, love and turn too when things happen. Also, assure her that you are not seeking to replace her father—but in fact to complete the circle of life that says a "young man shall leave it's parent and cleave to his wife."

This works both ways. The wife should cling to her husband.

God bless you and your family. I hope I have helped.

Navita